Christmas tiiiiime is heeeeeeere

[hebeimmortalized]

Dec 25, 2016

The apartment is beautiful, Jillie thinks. She hasn't had a proper Christmas in a few years, and seeing it like this makes her feel warm, and somehow happy and sad at once. It also makes her panic, a little. She has no idea what to buy or make for presents for Dee, or for Poison. Jack is easy. Jack's present takes form without even trying, as a new puzzle and a portrait of the two of them. She has more than just a green marker, now, so it looks better, comes out cleaner, than anything she worked on in the hospital.

She wraps them with cardboard cut from leftover cereal boxes, so they don't bend. It's not much, but it's something.

She cuddles into a cozy, plush bathrobe and sits nearby, but sort of out of the way.

She'd found some embroidery floss and dyed hemp cord at the Zen Center when she'd visited it with Jack, and braided it into a bracelet for Dee. It's a unique braid, too, not the basic three-plait bullshit. She uses bright colored thread and adds some charms that she'd found on an ugly bracelet at a thrift shop. They look a lot better on Dee's present, she thinks.

She folds up some leftover cardboard from the cereal boxes into an origami gift box, and wraps it in that.

For Poison, she'd written only a letter. It details how happy she is that Poison and Jack have met, eloquently stating everything she'd been unable to say when they'd first met. It essentially gives Poison her blessing and wishes them well. And maybe that's silly, but she does it anyway, because she isn't positive that they got off on the right foot, and she at least wants to make sure that Poison doesn't think she hates him, or something.

That, she decorates in the margins with pretty colors in a sort of tribal theme, and wraps it the same way she'd wrapped Jack's. (There are bags of cereal sagging box-less in their cupboard, now.)

Comments

[rockabillyboy]

When he wakes up, Poison is still sleeping and he pads out into the living room in his pajamas, his hoodie. He sees her sitting there and he smiles. He's got a wrapped package in his hand.

"Yo, Jillie," he says, softly, dropping down onto the couch next to her. "Happy Christmas."

[hebeimmortalized]

She smiles up at him. "Merry Christmas," she says. She's holding a coffee mug, but it has ice water in it. It's weirdly reassuring, to hang onto the handle and cradle it close to her. She's wearing comfy flannel pajamas under her robe, and she curls her feet up under her.

"Sleep good?" she asks.

[rockabillyboy]

"Pretty good, yeah," says Jack, turning his head to drop a kiss onto her forehead. "What about you, kiddo? You're up early."

[hebeimmortalized]

"It's Christmas," she says. "I can't sleep on Christmas." She shifts to lean into him instead of into the arm of the couch. "Think Santa liked Poison's decorations?"

[rockabillyboy]

"You could never sleep on Christmas," says Jack, combing his fingers through her dark hair. "How could Santa not like his decorations? Did you see how freaking excited he was last night?"

[hebeimmortalized]

"Like a little kid," she says with a small smile. "It's nice. He's from the same place as Dee? So he probably hasn't has a Christmas, either."

[rockabillyboy]

"Yeah, but I think it's kind of worse for him," he says. "Because he's old enough to remember what the world was like before everything went to shit. So he remembers Christmas from before. But this is his first one in Darrow." He sets a little wrapped box on her knee. "Happy Christmas, Jillian."

[hebeimmortalized]

Jillie stares at the present, then sets her cup aside so she can stand. She grabs Jack's present from under the tree and hands it over. "Merry Christmas, Jackson," she answers, holding the small present close. She's almost afraid to open it.

[rockabillyboy]

Grinning, Jack takes a moment to open his gift, sliding it out of the paper, setting it aside so he can examine the contents. "Oh, man, Jillie, these are amazing," he says, looking up, genuinely pleased. "Thank you so much."

[hebeimmortalized]

Jillie ducks her head, but she's grinning. "You're welcome," she mumbles. She clears her throat and pulls her little gift closer. She picks at the tape, almost nervously. Then she pulls it open.

[rockabillyboy]

Jack examines the drawings and the puzzles that Jillie's made for him while she opens her present.

"There's something else," he says, flashing a crooked smile at her. "But that's the only thing that I got you to open."

[hebeimmortalized]

She fiddles with the box as if she's afraid to see what's inside. Then she takes a deep breath and pulls the lid open.

The wings on the drop pendant are delicate, but strong, and Jillie feels her stomach jump a little to see them.

"Jack . . ."

[rockabillyboy]

"I thought you could wear it and then it would remind you that I'm with you, even when you can't see me?" He tilts his head, trying to look her in the eye. "Good present?"

[hebeimmortalized]

Jillie sniffles a little, and reaches up to push a tear away from her eye. "Best present," she mumbles shyly. She isn't used to getting many presents, and this one hits her right in the belly. She curls up and immediately puts the pendant on, fingers shaking a little.

[rockabillyboy]

Jack nudges the pendant straightening it against her chest. "Oh, that's a good length!" he says. "And then there's this." He digs his phone out of his pocket and shows her a photo of gold graffiti, LOVE on the mailbox to Somewhere Else, not far from where he wrote 'ANCHOR' for Poison. "I did this for you too."

[hebeimmortalized]

She smiles a little shyly and pulls the phone close so she can look at the picture. She reaches up to idly fiddle with the necklace. She's not nervous. She's not anxious. She feels . . . good. Steady.

[afabulouskilljoy]

"Hey, Jillie. Hope the lights aren't bothering you... I mean, I assumed you'd unplug them while you sleep but." Poison cuts himself off before he starts rambling and he offers some wrapped presents to her. They're all rectangular, and they are wrapped in llama wrapping paper.

Inside are a few things: three adult coloring books (secret garden, enchanted forest, and mandalas), a box of crayons, and a box of colored pencils. Huge boxes. All the colors. He heard about the green marker and it killed him - he understands the pain of being denied colors.

"Your letter was really nice," he murmurs. He might have gotten a little emotional about it; thankfully he'd been reading it alone.

[hebeimmortalized]

"Poison," she whispers when she unwraps them. "This is too much, I—" Her voice hiccups for a moment, and she finds herself lacking words. The books are beautiful, and she traces her fingers over the covers, almost reverently.

[afabulouskilljoy]

"Hey, it's not," he says with a shy smile.

"I uhm. I heard that coloring stuff can help when you're feeling anxious? You don't have to worry about drawing something to fill in, it's already there. You just play with colors however you want. I... heard about the green marker, and I thought that was fucking awful. So now you never have to worry about not having enough colors."

[hebeimmortalized]

"That green marker," she echoes with a wry laugh. "Thank you, Poison." She hugs the supplies close, instead of hugging him. Jack no doubt told Poison all about her aversion to contact, and although she's been trying, it's too much, right now. She can't feel everything she's feeling and still have any of her leftover for physical contact. So she clutches them close, like they're a precious child, blushing faintly.

[afabulouskilljoy]

"You're welcome," he says with a little smile. Poison doesn't try to hug her; he's pretty good with body language, and he understands a certain kind of anxiety. If Jillie wanted a hug, he's pretty sure she'd be clear about it.

"I just hope they can help if you're ever having rough days. And.. I'm glad to finally meet you. And your letter was really, really nice... thank you."

[hebeimmortalized]

She smiles like Jack and looks up at him. "Words sometimes don't want to come out," she says. "Writing helps, that's why I do those puzzles for Jackson. But sometimes, they just can't get from my brain to my mouth, and I was scared that I made you hate me, because I can't talk right all the time, and it's really important to me that Jackson has a stable life and that he's happy, and I know he wouldn't be happy if we didn't like each other, and—" Her breath hiccups as she stumbles to a halt.

[afabulouskilljoy]

It's almost weird to see Jack's smile on her face. "I totally get that," he assures. "So if you ever wanna just leave me notes or something, that's cool. I don't mind."

He smiles small when she hiccups, lets her catch her breath. "Easy," he murmurs. "I don't hate you. Honestly, I'm glad you're here."

[hebeimmortalized]

She smiles, eyes going soft and relieved. "Yeah? Me, too, I think." It's been a weird adjustment, and sometimes — most times — Jillie is convinced this is a very vivid hallucination, but it's been nice.

[afabulouskilljoy]

"We'll figure stuff out and it's gonna be okay. Promise." Sometimes he still hates making promises, he feels like they're impossible things. But he's trying to get over that.

"I still fight against it, sometimes. The idea that this place is real. But..." He shrugs. "Still here."

[hebeimmortalized]

She nods a little, tugging on her hair. "It's just so bizarre. I still feel like this is a stupid dream, just really vivid? I woke up here, but. How do I know it's real?" She shrugs. "I could drag a knife across my skin. Would that wake me up? Or would I just bleed?"

[afabulouskilljoy]

Poison nods a little. "I keep wanting to do something that'll like... I don't know. Make this place react." He shakes his head, pushing that thought away. "I'll promise you this, you're definitely gonna hurt if you try the knife thing and you're not gonna suddenly be back where you were. Already been there and done that."

Granted, the circumstances had been different, but still. He'd definitely tried already.

[hebeimmortalized]

"Right," she agrees. "I'm not going to, I'm just. Speculating. What do you mean, been there, done that?"

[afabulouskilljoy]

"I hurt myself really bad a few months ago. Not necessarily in a kill myself kind of way. But I fucked up my back pretty good. There uh... there was something there that I wanted gone. Didn't really work out for me."

[hebeimmortalized]

Jillie nods. If anyone understands, she does. She doesn't even ask what it was, or if he wants to talk about it. She just slowly, very haltingly, reaches and grips his forearm. It's a brief touch and squeeze, and then she's leaning back to curl up into herself again.